How often do you find yourself in a quiet space with zero distractions?
Think about how much “noise” we are bombarded with every day: listening to podcasts or the radio on the way to work, taking care of your kids, watching the news, attending meetings, scrolling through social media, getting text message and email notifications. Most people barely get a quiet second to themselves until it’s time to go to bed.
My Experience With Anxiety
In October 2017, I lost my mom to an aneurysm. It was sudden and completely devastating. Grief, though normal and necessary, is a massive stressor on the body. Several months later, I started my own business. My stress levels were the highest I’ve ever experienced. I started having really anxious thoughts. It came out of nowhere and then it was there for months. Then I had two panic attacks in one week.
So many people were talking about how amazing meditation was for them and I heard that it helps clear your mind and how life-changing it is. I felt so overwhelmed emotionally, so I figured I would try it.
I tried several popular apps and I didn’t really care for them. I hated how long I had to sit there for. I didn’t like listening to someone talk because I focused too much on what they were saying and that made me feel even more anxious.
I thought the goal was to quiet your thoughts and when I couldn’t do that, I became frustrated. I thought “this is dumb, I’ll never be able to do this” and I stopped trying.
Earlier this year, I started working with a life coach and one of my goals was to try meditation again. I had been following her on Instagram for a while and she often shared about her meditation practice. This second experience with meditation taught me that it’s NOT about quieting the mind and becoming thoughtless. It’s about observing your thoughts and being present with yourself. It’s about self-awareness.
I think on some level, we are all struggling with anxious thoughts. Thoughts about money, relationships, friendships, jobs, bills, food, comparison on social media, starting new chapters, and closing old ones.
When I learned that I didn’t need to quiet my thoughts and that it was okay for them to be in my mind, it changed everything.
Meditation vs. Mindfulness
Meditation is the practice of turning your attention to a single point of reference. This could be your breath, a mantra, or a feeling in your body. Since it is a practice, it requires consistency to train the mind and become more comfortable with it. Think of meditation as way to train the mind just as weight lifting is a way to train the body.
Mindfulness is the ability to become fully aware of your thoughts, feelings, and senses in the present moment. You can use mindfulness during meditation to become aware of your thought patterns. When you become aware of these patterns, you can better understand them and where they might be coming from.
Benefits of Meditation
Meditation has been used for thousands of years in religious and spiritual practices. Research shows several benefits include lowering blood pressure, reducing anxiety and increasing positivity, and improving attention.
I think the biggest benefit I experienced was a closer connection to myself. Carving out time in my day to focus on my mental health and self-care reminded me that my needs are important. I deserve to feel good and take care of myself.
It sounds silly, like of course we should think this. But so many of us put other people first, especially if you’re an empath (like me!), and we forget to respect our own boundaries. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Meditation for Beginners
For many of us, sitting in silence with zero distractions is going to be difficult. And that’s okay! That’s kind of the point. We grow when we are challenged. The goal is to ease your way into a practice that feels good for you.
There are several techniques and apps that you can use to start your meditation practice. I have found that it is easier to stay consistent when you start with 1-2 minutes. Training the mind and sitting with your thoughts is uncomfortable. For many of you, it may be the first time in a while that you have been present with yourself.
Mindfulness Meditation:
Sit comfortably without distractions. You can use a meditation cushion or sit on a chair. Be mindful of your posture - don’t slouch.
Set a timer for 1-2 minutes.
Place your left hand on your chest and your right on your stomach.
Close your eyes and take 3-4 deep breaths, inhaling in through the nose and exhaling out the mouth. Try to breathe so that the hand on your stomach moves but the hand on your chest stays still. This is called belly breathing.
Then return to your normal breath. You can keep your hands where they are or bring them down to your lap.
As you sit here, your thoughts might start racing. When a thought comes in, observe it -without judgment- and then release your attention to it and come back to your breath, focusing on the inhale and exhale. If you have a thought, always come back to the breath. The goal here is not to become thoughtless, but to become an observer of your thoughts.
Do this for 1-2 minutes. You can set a timer on your phone or use the app Insight Timer.
Start with 1-2 minutes for as long as you feel necessary, maybe a few days or a week. When you’re ready to increase the time, try 3-5 minutes. Ideally, you want to work up to at least 20 minutes of meditation in one sitting. The goal is to make this a continuous practice, so start slow and build yourself up when you are ready.
Belly Breathing Posture
Left hand on the heart, right hand on the stomach.
Other Meditation Techniques + Apps
There are over 20 types of meditation techniques! These are my favorite and the most easily accessible.
Guided Meditation
In this type of meditation, you listen to an instructor who leads you through a meditation. This can be done through audio or video recordings. Guided meditation is helpful for visualization and relaxation and is often used therapeutically for stress relief.
I listen to guided meditations in the car, while I’m cooking, taking walks, etc. You don’t have to close your eyes for this one but you do need to focus on the words and the intention of the meditation.
Kundalini Yoga
This meditation blends movement with deep breathing and mantras. Any yoga class will have some aspect of mindfulness and meditation, so I recommend adding it into your practice when you can.
1 Giant Mind App
The 1 Giant Mind app helped me transition into a more consistent meditation practice by focusing on a mantra during the meditation. You start with a 12 step meditation course that teaches you more about meditation and how to best support your practice. After the 12 step course, you unlock the 30 day challenge where you can choose how long you want your meditation and the background music each day. This 30 day challenge helps you become more consistent and dive deeper into your practice.
***I do want to clarify that my experience wasn’t linear. While this app helped me become more consistent, I didn’t do it every single day and I don’t want you to feel like you have to or else you won’t be successful. You should never feel like meditation is a burden or something you “have” to do.
Other Apps
When to Meditate
When you should meditate is completely up to you! Make the time in your schedule for this practice. As you build your practice, know you are investing in your health and putting yourself first. You can add meditation into your morning or evening routine or anytime during the day where you need a mental break.
I found it easiest to add meditation into my morning routine. This is what my routine looks like:
Wake up
Go to the bathroom
Brush my teeth and use my tongue scraper
Make myself warm lemon water
Go back to my room and make my bed
Sit in my meditation spot and use whatever app or technique I’m feeling that day. Most days I also put essential oils on my wrists and inhale the scent during my first few deep breaths.
Then I turn off airplane mode on my phone (I sleep with it turned on) and ease into my day.
If I don’t meditate in the morning, then I try to before I go to bed.
You can also add in other self-care practices like journaling and visualization into your meditation practice. Keep a journal near you so when you’re finished you can write down how your meditation felt and what thoughts came up that you'd like to understand better.
Final Thoughts
Remember, meditation is a practice. It will be uncomfortable initially. It takes time and consistency but the benefits are worth it. YOU are worth it. Try different techniques and find what works for you.
